Uncovering Intimacy

A year of marriage challenges – Completed?

Can you believe the year of marriage challenges is over? I hardly can. So, I bet a lot of people are wondering “What’s next?” and some more want to know “Where can I get a list of all the challenges?”

Marriage and social shaming

My family and I are away for the weekend for my baby sister’s wedding. Last night was the rehearsal and my other sister asked “So, is your speech ready?” Well, this was the first I’d heard of a speech, so naturally I said it wasn’t.

Stress is bad for sex

Stress isn’t a bad thing. It’s not. It is designed for a purpose: to give us the best survival chance in a dangerous situation. Evolutionists would say this is a holdover from evolutionary ancestors. I believe that God created humans to be able to survive

Relief is not the same as enjoyment

I think sometimes we confuse relief with enjoyment, especially when it comes to sex. I think this gets confused by both high-drive and low-drive spouses, and I don’t think we tend to reflect on that much. So, I thought I’d take a second to try

An update on our situation

So, I sat down to write a post this morning on my morning commute, as it my habit, and just couldn’t get into anything. The truth is, I’m pre-occupied. So, I thought I’d write a little post just to share what’s going on in our

Analingus / rimming / oral-anal sex

This is another topic I’ve been avoiding for a while. I mean, people get upset enough when I mention anal sex. But to talk about kissing or licking the anus … well, I’m bracing myself for the comments. But, no one is talking about this

Silence means everything is okay

I can’t tell you how many couples don’t talk when things are bad. They just keep silent expecting … I don’t know what. I guess they expect that their spouse will get the hint and change. The problem is that sometimes the issue isn’t the

The dual control model – Why you sometimes can’t get in the mood for sex

Alright, today we’re going to talk a bit about the dual control model of sexual arousal. I think people probably know this inherently, but sometimes it’s good to put things on paper, as it were, to make them clear. So, the dual control model of

Desire vs. willingness

Yesterday I promised I’d write a post on desire vs. willingness, because, again, this is a topic I’ve mentioned many times, but never devoted a post to. Our society teaches us that we shouldn’t have sex unless we desire it. In movies, both of the

Responsive vs spontaneous desire

Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal. How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready. Or the opposite can happen. Unfortunately, this confuses a lot of women

Arousal non-concordance

I heard a new term this week and I’m really excited about it, because it’s a concept I’ve known about for a long time, but I’ve not seen many people write about it. I also didn’t know what to call it. I like having labels,