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A Year of Marriage Challenges - Week 11 - 20 minutes of foreplay Week 11: Spend 20 minutes on foreplay - Last week our challenge was to have a quickie, and I got a bit of push back from some of the wives saying that all the challenges had been for the men (though I disagree, as did some of the other wives), but this time I’m hoping they’ll appreciate the challenge.  We barely managed to […]

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Sex Within Marriage Podcast Image for Posts SWM004: Why your wife can’t tell you what she wants - In this episode I answer the question I get from so many husbands: Why can’t my wife just tell me what she wants?  This used to drive me crazy earlier in my marriage, until I figured out the answer.  Now I see it as an opportunity, instead of a frustration. What do you think of […]
A Year of Marriage Challenges - Week 10 - Have a quickie Week 10: Have a quickie - This past week we’ve gotten a ton of comments all across the blog.  A few on this post, but many more all over the place.   It’s been fun interacting with so many of you, I hope it keeps up, despite that challenge being done.  Thank you all who participated!  But, of course, we have […]
Sex Within Marriage Podcast SWM003: Is sex a need or a want? - Today I’m tackling the question: Is sex a need or a want?  I’ve actually written about this in the past but it was about 3.5 years ago, and I have a lot of new readers since then and now new listeners who haven’t heard my views on this subject.  So, here we go. What do you think […]
A Year of Marriage Challenges - Week 9 - Comment on a post or two Week 9: Comment on a post or two - Hello everyone, I hope you’re having a good week.  I am because I managed to complete last week’s challenge on the last night: giving your spouse a full body massage.  As I’ve written before, I’m not sure why I don’t do that more often.  But this week, I have a new challenge for you, some […]
Sex Within Marriage Podcast SWM002: Getting rid of veto power in the bedroom - Episode 2 of our podcast!  We can actually call it series now.  Today I’m talking about getting rid of veto power in the bedroom.  Often one spouse, usually the low-drive spouse, has absolute say over when sex happens, or when it doesn’t happen.  But is that the way it should be?  I share my thoughts […]

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Latest Anonymous Questions

Anonymous Question Why does sex hurt? - I got this question last night: On my wedding night I lost my virginity to my husband. I went on my honeymoon the following week and my husband attempted to have sex once and it lasted like a couple mins because it hurt me . A month later we attempted a couple times but he […]

Is it okay for a Christian couple to ‘expand’ their sexual circle? - I know, I’m answering the same question over and over again, but people keep asking from slightly different angles, so I guess I should keep tackling it.  Here’s one I received this weekend: Hi.  Is it okay for a Christian couple to ‘expand’ their sexual circle?  For the past several years, I have been wanting […]
Is it okay to role-play a rape scenario? - I’m playing catch up on some previous questions.  This one came in more than a month ago, and I’m afraid I’ve been a little slow to answer: My wife and I are both Christian Faith and have a question about a fantasy we both have. We both are wondering if it is okay for use […]

Last weekend, I decided I was going to have a talk and bring up some of the sexual things, etc. well, it went horribly and we ended up in a big fight. However, the end result has been positive. She let me know some things that have been bothering her (I recognized them as well) and this week I have tried to do more of the things she mentioned. Last night we had sex for the first time in about 3 weeks and it was great. We still have problems in the bedroom and other parts of our relationship to ...

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Cried myself to sleep many many nights. Until I stumbled across Jay Dee's site. His story actually got through to my husband about how it feels to be refused. At first he when I would send Jay's posts to his email he didn't want any part of it. At some point it got through and he has been truly making a huge effort. We are still working on things and have several issues to sort out. But my life has improved a million times.

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...we listened to the Podcast with you on "What sex means to a man" and your insight has really brought change to our relationship ... Your explanation that sex is really the main way a man feels loved and appreciated really resonated with both of us. In the last few weeks we have made intimacy, sexual, and otherwise a much greater priority in our marriage and not only has our sex life gone to a new level, but our entire marriage has! Thank you for sharing your insight with others.

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Thank you for all you do it comes from the heart and it shows. You have helped me in my marriage more than anyone I know other than Jesus. Keep up the great work.
Your website has really ministered to my marriage.
Thanks for continuing to tackle the more challenging/least discussed topics on sex. Our marriage has benefited from simply having a starting point for conversations, so thank you.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support! I started feeling better as soon as I started writing my thoughts, and feeling better yet reading your reply.
My wife and I both read your blog on a regular basis and often discuss your posts together – it’s a real help to our marriage.
Miss Sunshine
Thank you. Somehow you’ve made this very scary topic seem less scary. … You really are helpful, and I just can’t thank you enough. I don’t even know you, but deep down, I just have an overwhelming sense of appreciation and gratitude.
I also wanted you to know that God has used you and your wife in a HUGE way during this season of our journey. I am so grateful for you both…you have no idea!! :)

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