Who should lead in the household? This is a question that is being seriously debated these days, and Christians are all over the map on this one. Some believe husbands should be, some the wives. Some believe there should be no leader, some believe it doesn’t make a difference, and some believe they should lead together, which seems to mean no one is leading, or they’re fighting more than accomplishing anything.
So, what does the Bible say? After all, if we are Christians, and believe that God’s “word is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path” (Psalm 119:105), then that should be our first stop for such guidance.
A common argument low-drive spouses have against high-drive spouses “Why do we NEED to improve our sex life? Isn’t it good enough?” And that’s a difficult question to answer for most, because it’s not a simple yes or no. So, I thought I’d take a few (like a thousand or two) words and try to explain this built-in need for most high-drive spouses to continuously reach for a higher quality, and higher-frequency, sex life, because I think it’s a bigger topic than most give credit for. My wife’s comments will be in purple. Continue reading
The secular, evolutionist, world likes to tells that marriage fulfills a societal need of resource distribution. Women have what men want (sex), and men have what women want (resources and protection). Now, this is a gross generalization of course, even if we disregard the quarter to a third of marriages where the wife wants sex more than the husband. But, even though many Christians claim to reject models that are based on evolutionary principles, and claim to follow the Bible’s reasons for marriage and sex, this concept of trading sex for resources or protection still manages to find its way into Christian philosophy regarding marriage and sex.
Sex Savvy is sort of a cross between a how-to book, a psychology/physiology lesson, a sermon on sexuality and a conversation between two friends. I don’t know how else to describe it. J Parker (the author and blogger at Hot, Holy & Humorous) came to me, way back in November of last year and basically said (paraphrasing) “Hey, I wrote a book, want to read it…and maybe review it?” It’s a good think she told me the timing of the review didn’t matter, because it took me a few months to get to it. But once I picked it up, it was hard to put down. I finally picked it up mid last week and just finished it. Continue reading
I think a lot of spouses are scared of initiating sex and I think that fear exists on all sides: high drive, low drive, husband, wife, they may have different reasons for being scared, but I think many of us are scared of initiating sex with our spouses. This is sad really, and there is a skill to counter it that I hinted at briefly in my post about Valentine’s Day. So, today I’m going to try and tackle this. I’d love to know other people’s results, because I have only my own to work with. As usual, Christina (my wife)’s comments in purple. Continue reading
We’ve been talking about birth control for about the last month. First we discussed non-procreative sex, then permanent birth control measures, and now we’re going to discuss birth control itself. Birth control is a messy topic for Christians. We have to combine our beliefs on when life begins, the sovereignty of God in our lives, and considerations that our body is a temple of God, that we are stewards of it, and are responsible for anything we put in or on it. I’ve been asked to share my views on birth control and Christian marriage. I’m going to do by best to explain my reasoning and back up the things I say with scripture, but to be clear, these are my views. Each person should be convicted of their own beliefs and be able to reason them, and not to rely on someone else to do it for them. God will hold us all accountable. I believe He is forgiving of errors, but I’m not so sure He’s forgiving of third-partying your relationship with Him. So, study, read the scriptures, pray, and belief what you will, but don’t just go “Oh, I believe what this guy believes”, that won’t help you. I’m going to be as reasoning and logical as I can during this, because that’s how I think about these things. No doubt some will think it makes me cold and calculating. I’m hoping my wife (in purple) can add some balance to the discussion.