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Hot and Monogamous, just as God intended

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Anonymous Question Is it okay to role-play a rape scenario? - I’m playing catch up on some previous questions.  This one came in more than a month ago, and I’m afraid I’ve been a little slow to answer: My wife and I are both Christian Faith and have a question about a fantasy we both have. We both are wondering if it is okay for use […]

Recent Posts

Do spouses have the right to specific sexual acts Do spouses have the right to specific sexual acts? - Now, it could be argued that being married gives you the right to have sex.  1 Corinthians 7:5 would support this claim, and I think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect, when you get married, that sex is on the table (chair, rug by the fire, bed, or whatever).  But, what about specific sexual acts?  Does […]
Couples need to lie less and trust more when it comes to sex Couples need to lie less and trust more when it comes to sex - I was talking with someone yesterday about some difficulties they were having with sex, and I asked if they minded if I wrote a post on the topic.  After thinking about it, I realized the issue we were discussing went far beyond just their specific conflict, and was probably based in a much larger principle […]
Why is it important that a Christian marry another Christian Why is it important for Christians to marry Christians? - I get emails weekly from readers who, sadly, are in marriages with non-Christians, while they themselves are believers.  Some find themselves in this situations due to a loss of faith by their spouse, who used to believe, but far more often, it’s because they have chosen a spouse who wasn’t Christian.  Sadly, I have two […]
Anonymous Question Can I write erotica for my husband and I? - This question came in on our Have A Question page yesterday: I am a fanfiction writer, and I wrote a couple of erotica chapters, mostly between monogamous couples. I think prayer made me realized it was not the best idea, so I took them back from the site, except for a blog, because I am not […]
Church unity starts at home Sermon audio: Church unity starts at home - Some of you are aware that a few weeks ago I was asked to preach in my church (no, I’m not a pastor), and some had expressed a desire to hear it, since I was talking about marriage.  It took me a bit to get the audio, but here is it, for those who are interested […]

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Latest Anonymous Questions

Anonymous Question Is it okay to role-play a rape scenario? - I’m playing catch up on some previous questions.  This one came in more than a month ago, and I’m afraid I’ve been a little slow to answer: My wife and I are both Christian Faith and have a question about a fantasy we both have. We both are wondering if it is okay for use […]

Can I write erotica for my husband and I? - This question came in on our Have A Question page yesterday: I am a fanfiction writer, and I wrote a couple of erotica chapters, mostly between monogamous couples. I think prayer made me realized it was not the best idea, so I took them back from the site, except for a blog, because I am not […]
Is it a sin to lust after your wife? - I received this through our Have A Question page where readers submit anonymous questions: Is it a sin to lust after your wife.  The Bible says to not covet your neighbors wife.   But is it wrong to covet your own wife.   to look longingly at her thighs or ass etc… thanks Kevin Now, I’ve written about […]

Testimonials
Bruce
Last weekend, I decided I was going to have a talk and bring up some of the sexual things, etc. well, it went horribly and we ended up in a big fight. However, the end result has been positive. She let me know some things that have been bothering her (I recognized them as well) and this week I have tried to do more of the things she mentioned. Last night we had sex for the first time in about 3 weeks and it was great. We still have problems in the bedroom and other parts of our relationship to ...

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Rebecca
Cried myself to sleep many many nights. Until I stumbled across Jay Dee's site. His story actually got through to my husband about how it feels to be refused. At first he when I would send Jay's posts to his email he didn't want any part of it. At some point it got through and he has been truly making a huge effort. We are still working on things and have several issues to sort out. But my life has improved a million times.

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Isaac
...we listened to the Podcast with you on "What sex means to a man" and your insight has really brought change to our relationship ... Your explanation that sex is really the main way a man feels loved and appreciated really resonated with both of us. In the last few weeks we have made intimacy, sexual, and otherwise a much greater priority in our marriage and not only has our sex life gone to a new level, but our entire marriage has! Thank you for sharing your insight with others.

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THart
Thank you for all you do it comes from the heart and it shows. You have helped me in my marriage more than anyone I know other than Jesus. Keep up the great work.
Anonymous
Your website has really ministered to my marriage.
Anonymous
Thanks for continuing to tackle the more challenging/least discussed topics on sex. Our marriage has benefited from simply having a starting point for conversations, so thank you.
Dana
Thank you so much for your kind words and support! I started feeling better as soon as I started writing my thoughts, and feeling better yet reading your reply.
Matthew
My wife and I both read your blog on a regular basis and often discuss your posts together – it’s a real help to our marriage.
Miss Sunshine
Thank you. Somehow you’ve made this very scary topic seem less scary. … You really are helpful, and I just can’t thank you enough. I don’t even know you, but deep down, I just have an overwhelming sense of appreciation and gratitude.
Becky
I also wanted you to know that God has used you and your wife in a HUGE way during this season of our journey. I am so grateful for you both…you have no idea!! :)

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