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Hot and Monogamous, just as God intended

Sex

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Reasons Not To Have SexThis was a simple little survey that I created, originally to answer a simple question:  do husbands and wife’s agree on whether or not the choice to not have sex on a given night is mutual.  This question was raised due to a comment on a recent post.

I added a few more questions, partially so that it wasn’t a two question survey, partially because, well, if people are going to fill it out, I might as well get a bit more data, and partially because it’s generally a bad idea to ask only what you want on a survey, because people tend to answer differently if they know what you are looking for, thus ruining the data.

In total, 159 respondents filled out the survey when I grabbed the data set I’ll be working from. Continue reading

Real Marriage Book ReviewLast week I was asked what my opinions on the book “Real Marriage” by Mark & Grace Driscoll were.  I didn’t have any because I hadn’t read the book.  I’ve seen the cover here and there, and I’d heard the name, but no-one’s opinion of the book stood out in my mind.  Then I was told it was fairly controversial in the evangelical circles.  Well, that peaked my interest.  A book, about sex, by a pastor that’s controversial, that might be interesting, I thought.  Well, it’s really hard to write a book as a pastor about sex that isn’t controversial these days, in all truth, but still, it caught my mind.  So, I grabbed the audio-book, and spent a week and a half’s worth of commuting listening to it.  I also listened to the chapter on husbands with my wife while doing the dishes one night, and then the chapter on wives with my wife while making supper this afternoon.

I had posted on Facebook that I was going through the book, and some people were curious about my opinion of it, so I thought I’d write a quick review. Continue reading

Is my spouse attracted to meI wrote a survey this weekend to help out with a post and answer a question from a reader: Was their spouse attracted to them?  So many people commented, both in the survey, on Facebook, message boards, in emails, comments, etc., that they wanted to see the results, that I just have to share them.  At the time of this post, the sample set was 183 respondents. Continue reading

Some Rough Sex StatisticsSo, many people were interested in the results.  I’m guessing most don’t want just an excel spreadsheet of the data, but rather want the knowledge gained from the survey, so I’m going to do my best to break it down into bits of knowledge instead of bits of data.

So, let’s handle the simple things first. Continue reading

I Want My Husband To Want MeI don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’ve been getting more and more comments from women say that they want sex more than their husbands, completely shattering the stereotype that men always want more sex.  There are blogs from women in these types of marriages, guest posts, threads on message boards, everywhere you see wives saying “I want my husband to want me!”, but still the popular myth is maintained: that men need/want sex more than women.  And anywhere a woman stands up and says “I like sex” or “I want sex every day” or “I want sex more than my husband”, there is someone standing up calling “unicorn” (mythical creature).  But anyone who runs a blog dealing with marriage or sex, and I’d guess anyone in that area of marriage counselling as well, has to know that these are not unicorns, and there aren’t more of them every day, they’re just becoming more vocal. Continue reading

You_Are_Not_Alone

I was looking at the stats for the blog today, and it reminded me of a question I had last night:  I wonder how many people think they are the only ones in marriage having problems with sex, or who think that maybe sex in marriage is supposed to be dull/bad/painful and/or infrequent.  It popped into my head because of something I wrote a few days ago.  I didn’t post it here, because it was for a project being hosted by My Beloved Is Mine!.  But, when I was reading their post (and incidentally, some of my own words back to myself), it sparked the question.   Continue reading

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