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Hot and Monogamous, just as God intended

Men

Does my husband still find me attractive

Yesterday morning (4 am my time), I received an anonymous question from a new reader.  She’s had a, shall we say, colourful life, but now has settled down, has become a Christian, has a husband and is growing in Christ.  But, while we are all forgiven, forgiveness does not always equate to a blank slate.  While it does in God’s eyes, the fact is, we still bear the consequences of our actions, grace or no grace.  These aren’t punishments from God, they are just us getting through life following our own will, or sometimes being subject to the will of others.

And so, this dear sister in Christ comes to me with a question that I’m sure is weighing on many of our sisters in the christian community.  In fact, I’m almost positive this is a gender wide question for wives regardless of faith:

Does my husband still find me attractive? →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

Boy SilhouetteThe Christian marriage blog-o-sphere is buzzing the last few months about submission, household leadership and respect within the family, and it generally revolves around these verses:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Particularly, what are the roles of husbands and wives.  Not so much who-does-the-dishes, but more who is in charge, who is helping, who is following and who is leading.  Most of the bloggers on the side of husbands lead and wives submit and before anyone gets upset, the bulk of these bloggers are women, and their biggest concern is that the men are not willing to fill the role of leader.

Now, why would they not want to step up to be a leader with a submissive wife?  I mean, you can get everything you want right? →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

This is the thirteenth and final post in the 1/2 Marathon being orchestrated by the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.  I had a bunch of questions left from the A Males Perspective teleconference I spoke at last week.  As such, I used this marathon to answer some of the questions I received and this is the last one.  Please note, these answers are my perspective.  I cannot vouch for all males and when I’m giving my perspective on women, I certainly cannot vouch for all women.  Also, all references to gender traits are based on the average population, there are exceptions of course.  Please do not be offended by these if you are not “neuro-typical” for your gender.  So, on to the question:

What is the #1 thing that turn husbands off?

I think the answer to this is predicted in Genesis 3:16: →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

This is the sixth post in the 1/2 Marathon being orchestrated by the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.  I have a bunch of questions left from the A Males Perspective teleconference I spoke at last week.  As such, I’ll be using this marathon to answer some of the questions I received.  Please note, these are my perspective.  I cannot vouch for all males and when I’m giving my perspective on women, I certainly cannot vouch for all women.  Also, all references to gender traits are based on the average population, there are exceptions of course.  Please do not be offended by these if you are not “neuro-typical” for your gender.  So, on to the question:
Does it hurt a man’s feelings when we give instructions to him in the bedroom on what we like and dislike as a women in bed?

I hate this answer: it depends.  But it does, and it depends on mainly two factors, and to illustrate, I’m going to use a decision matrix, because, well, it’s rare that I get to use them. →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

This is the second post in the 1/2 Marathon being orchestrated by the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.  I have a bunch of questions left from the A Males Perspective teleconference I spoke at last week.  As such, I’ll be using this marathon to answer some of the questions I received.  Please note, these are my perspective.  I cannot vouch for all males and when I’m giving my perspective on women, I certainly cannot vouch for all women.  So, on to the question:

Why do you think men think about sex more than women? And why is that so important to a man in his marriage?

So, I think the first question to ask is, do men actually think about sex more than women?  There is a myth out there that men think about sex about once every 7 seconds while they are awake.  This myth is false, I don’t know who started it, or why and it doesn’t really matter.  What does appear certain is that, on average, men seem to think about sex more than women do.  Researchers don’t agree on how often, and it varies greatly from person to person.  One study says 19 times a day on average, another says every 5 minutes for teenagers and every 30 minutes for older adults, another says that 45% of men think about sex less than once a day. →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading

In the last week or two, there has been a lot of discussion in the Christian marriage blog-o-sphere about teaching your spouse, as far as I can tell, it originated with an article over at Hot, Holy and Humorous called How You Like To Be Touched.  I highly suggesting giving it a read, and watch the video, it’s hilarious.

The main premise of all these discussions are that the genders are wired very differently for romance. →']);" class="more-link">Continue reading