I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’ve been getting more and more comments from women say that they want sex more than their husbands, completely shattering the stereotype that men always want more sex. There are blogs from women in these types of marriages, guest posts, threads on message boards, everywhere you see wives saying “I want my husband to want me!”, but still the popular myth is maintained: that men need/want sex more than women. And anywhere a woman stands up and says “I like sex” or “I want sex every day” or “I want sex more than my husband”, there is someone standing up calling “unicorn” (mythical creature). But anyone who runs a blog dealing with marriage or sex, and I’d guess anyone in that area of marriage counselling as well, has to know that these are not unicorns, and there aren’t more of them every day, they’re just becoming more vocal. Continue reading
One of our largest topics for
fighting conflict (in the past) is that I (from her perspective) “want sex all the time”. I have pretty hard time denying that allegation, because, well, it’s true.
I see this theme a lot in my readings on message boards, blogs, Facebook, twitter, etc. Statements like:
“All he wants is sex”
“All he thinks about is sex”
“All he wants me for is sex”
“He wants sex all the time” Continue reading
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this topic for the last few days, weeks, months, years. I guess it’s been on my mind since I got married, or shortly afterwards. As stated in my first post, my marriage started off a little rocky, and physical intimacy was one of the large points of contention between us. My wife had a very low sex drive due to birth-control pills, and I wasn’t helping anything with my emotional walls I had built up as a teenager.
Things are much improved these days, but pregnancy, periods, and other life events of course occasionally interrupt our sex life.
Side effects of no sex
During these times, I’m afraid I’m not very patient. At around day 3 or 4, I start getting a little antsy and frustrated. This leads to my temper shortening. I’m harder on the kids, and I’m less emotionally supportive of my wife. I’m not proud of this. I fight it, but I haven’t been very successful so far.
My wife has similar symptoms. Now, whether they are internally generated like mine, or merely a response to my bearish behaviour, I can’t say. But it is the reality. Continue reading