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Hot and Monogamous, just as God intended

female mind

Is my spouse attracted to meI wrote a survey this weekend to help out with a post and answer a question from a reader: Was their spouse attracted to them?  So many people commented, both in the survey, on Facebook, message boards, in emails, comments, etc., that they wanted to see the results, that I just have to share them.  At the time of this post, the sample set was 183 respondents. Continue reading

I Want My Husband To Want MeI don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’ve been getting more and more comments from women say that they want sex more than their husbands, completely shattering the stereotype that men always want more sex.  There are blogs from women in these types of marriages, guest posts, threads on message boards, everywhere you see wives saying “I want my husband to want me!”, but still the popular myth is maintained: that men need/want sex more than women.  And anywhere a woman stands up and says “I like sex” or “I want sex every day” or “I want sex more than my husband”, there is someone standing up calling “unicorn” (mythical creature).  But anyone who runs a blog dealing with marriage or sex, and I’d guess anyone in that area of marriage counselling as well, has to know that these are not unicorns, and there aren’t more of them every day, they’re just becoming more vocal. Continue reading

MyWifeWantsMeToTieHerUp

I’ve seen this question in a few places where all of a sudden a wife lets out that she wants her husband to tie her up.  Note: I’ve been seeing these WAY before 50 shades of grey was even a concept.  I am not writing about that book!  There are a billion reasons why you shouldn’t read it.  But what about these genuine wives who have a real desire, not brought about by some piece of fiction, to try this?  I’ve been that husband who sat there and thought, “Is this OK“, “What do I do?“, “How do I start?
I like to pull Bible passages when I can, but the Bible is pretty silent on most sexual practices.  There are prohibitions against things like bestiality and incest (and others), against adultery, impure thoughts and practices, but what about what happens in a marriage bed between mutually consenting adults? Continue reading

Why Doesn't My Wife Want Sex

I’ve been praying for years to understand my wife better, in particular, why she doesn’t want sex as often as I do.  Being the higher drive spouse who thinks about sex almost constantly, it is sometimes mind-boggling to me why she doesn’t think about sex…well…ever, unless we’re having sex at that moment.  However, I do not think I’ve been praying with the right mindset/heart.  I was always praying more with the idea that if I understood her, I’d be able to change her.  Sort of a “know your enemy” idea, which, I admit, is a bad way to think about your spouses libido, as the enemy.  But recently that’s been changing. Continue reading

What_Is_Your_Goal

I often read, in forums and comments, complaints from one spouse or another who isn’t getting what they want out of sex.  Sometimes it has to do with a very simple problem of the spouses not knowing each others goals in a sexual encounter (or all of them).

So, what are some potential goals for a sexual encounter? Continue reading

This is the seventh post in the 1/2 Marathon being orchestrated by the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.  I have a bunch of questions left from the A Males Perspective teleconference I spoke at last week.  As such, I’ll be using this marathon to answer some of the questions I received.  Please note, these are my perspective.  I cannot vouch for all males and when I’m giving my perspective on women, I certainly cannot vouch for all women.  Also, all references to gender traits are based on the average population, there are exceptions of course.  Please do not be offended by these if you are not “neuro-typical” for your gender.  So, on to the question:

Do you believe that couples go through sexual seasons in their relationships?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: We’ve been through a few already in our short (11 year) marriage. Continue reading

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