I often read, in forums and comments, complaints from one spouse or another who isn’t getting what they want out of sex. Sometimes it has to do with a very simple problem of the spouses not knowing each others goals in a sexual encounter (or all of them).
So, what are some potential goals for a sexual encounter? Continue reading
I received this question in the comments on the post What Do I Do If I Get Turned On By Someone/Something Other Than My Spouse?
If you knew your spouse was deliberately looking at stuff to get aroused, but goes to you for sex, would you refuse them? Would you also refuse sex with your spouse if they accidentally see something arousing in a movie, but watch it anyway with no repentance or attempt to look away and then they come to you for sex?
It is one of my fears that I’m having sex with my husband, but he is having sex with someone else (in his mind.)
Now, this presents a problem, we have two concepts in direct opposition to each other:
- Sex is a marriage right. One spouse does not have the right to deny the other.
- Sex is viewed by many men as a “reward” or an indication that everything is alright in the relationship. So, having sex may be telling him that you are OK with his behavior.
So, how do we reconcile these two opposing choices?
One of our largest topics for
fighting conflict (in the past) is that I (from her perspective) “want sex all the time”. I have pretty hard time denying that allegation, because, well, it’s true.
I see this theme a lot in my readings on message boards, blogs, Facebook, twitter, etc. Statements like:
“All he wants is sex”
“All he thinks about is sex”
“All he wants me for is sex”
“He wants sex all the time” Continue reading
So, here I am, a Christian, launching a blog, about sex. What am I thinking?
I’ve been a Christian my entire life (meaning I grew up in a Christian family), and I have come to realize that the Christian culture is not only not doing a good job of teaching about sex, we are doing a horrible job at teaching about sex within marriage. We spend so much time telling people “No sex until your married” that we forget to tell them “after that, you’re good to go”. Often it’s taught “Sex is bad” and leave off the “unless your married, then it can be absolutely amazing”. We absolutely fail at teaching anything about sex within marriage. Continue reading