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Hot and Monogamous, just as God intended

1/2 Marathon

I received a comment today on the Why Do Married Men Masturbate post, and after writing two responses (a computer crash and a browser crash), the third one finally finished up way to long for a comment, so I thought I’d just turn it into a post because others might be in the same situation.  The comment is below and my response further down.  Please keep in mind, I’m just a lay-person who has been the male in a similar situation, that is the only expertise I can claim.  You know your situation better than I, I just hope I can lend some perspective to it. Continue reading

This is the thirteenth and final post in the 1/2 Marathon being orchestrated by the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.  I had a bunch of questions left from the A Males Perspective teleconference I spoke at last week.  As such, I used this marathon to answer some of the questions I received and this is the last one.  Please note, these answers are my perspective.  I cannot vouch for all males and when I’m giving my perspective on women, I certainly cannot vouch for all women.  Also, all references to gender traits are based on the average population, there are exceptions of course.  Please do not be offended by these if you are not “neuro-typical” for your gender.  So, on to the question:

What is the #1 thing that turn husbands off?

I think the answer to this is predicted in Genesis 3:16: Continue reading

This is the twelfth post in the 1/2 Marathon being orchestrated by the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.  There has been a lot of discussion on some of my posts this week (especially Why Do Married Men Masturbate).  I’m going to answer one of the questions I received on that post.  Please note, these are my perspective.  I cannot vouch for all males and when I’m giving my perspective on women, I certainly cannot vouch for all women.  Also, all references to gender traits are based on the average population, there are exceptions of course.  Please do not be offended by these if you are not “neuro-typical” for your gender.  So, on to the question:

If a spouse, I’ll say husband but it can be wife, too gets aroused by someone or something, say an unexpected sex scene or flash of nudity in a movie, is it OK to turn that arousal towards their spouse, or should they turn off (for lack of a better description) that arousal instead through prayer, cold shower, accounting, etc?

I think first it’s important to make a distinction between temptation and harbored thoughts. Continue reading

Sex is a reward for men.  Rewarded with sex.  Paid with sex.  Rewarded with sex. This is the eleventh post in the 1/2 Marathon being orchestrated by the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.  I have a bunch of questions left from the A Males Perspective teleconference I spoke at last week.  As such, I’ll be using this marathon to answer some of the questions I received.  Please note, these are my perspective.  I cannot vouch for all males and when I’m giving my perspective on women, I certainly cannot vouch for all women.  Also, all references to gender traits are based on the average population, there are exceptions of course.  Please do not be offended by these if you are not “neuro-typical” for your gender.  So, on to the question:

In one of your blog you said that men like to be rewarded for being a good provider, father, and just a man in general. And to most men If they have done something good it should = Sex, Something bad = No sex! Can you tell me why men tend to think this way?

There are 3 reasons I can think of (there may be more) for men thinking sex is a reward:

  • Hormones
  • Society’s teachings
  • How close sexuality is to our core self

So, let’s explore them. Continue reading

This is the tenth post in the 1/2 Marathon being orchestrated by the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.    This time I’m switching it up a bit.  An issue came up during the discussion on the post Why Do Married Men Masturbate? that I want to address today. Please note, this is my perspective.  I cannot vouch for all males and when I’m giving my perspective on women, I certainly cannot vouch for all women.  Also, all references to gender traits are based on the average population, there are exceptions of course.  Please do not be offended by these if you are not “neuro-typical” for your gender.  So, on to the question:

What is your opinion of solo masturbation due to separation?

This question came from the comments section and I delayed responding because my initial answer I felt was a bit harsh.  I thought I’d take the time to pray and think and read and see if my opinion mellowed.   It didn’t.  So, here it is, no holds barred.

Continue reading

This is the ninth post in the 1/2 Marathon being orchestrated by the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association.  I have a bunch of questions left from the A Males Perspective teleconference I spoke at last week.  As such, I’ll be using this marathon to answer some of the questions I received.  Please note, these are my perspective.  I cannot vouch for all males and when I’m giving my perspective on women, I certainly cannot vouch for all women.  Also, all references to gender traits are based on the average population, there are exceptions of course.  Please do not be offended by these if you are not “neuro-typical” for your gender.  So, on to the question:

I would like for my husband to be more creative when it comes to initiating sex and not just jumping into it. What should I do?

Alright, first things first.  Go back and read my post called
Does It Hurt A Man’s Feelings When We Give Instructions To Him In The Bedroom On What We Like And Dislike As A Women In Bed?  I know, it’s a long title, but the post is pretty short.  I’ll wait.

Done?  Good, because this post won’t work unless you understand and apply that post.

Continue reading