So, this past week we ran a survey. Basically I was curious about how different working combinations in a marriage play out in terms of sexual frequency. Again, as always not that sex is the end all and be all of marriage, or that frequency is the best measure, but it’s the most objective, quantitative barometer of a marriage that I have. If there is another, please let me know.
I was really curious to see how the data would stack up against the traditional/conservative few of “Husbands work, wives stay home and raise the kids” vs the postmodern/liberal view of “Gender is a thing of the past, anyone can do anything”. I hope you are as curious as I was. So, without further ado, here are the results. Continue reading
There is a common joke in married circles about “sleeping on the couch”. It typically refers to a husband being sent to go sleep on the couch, because he has done something to offend his wife and she has decided he cannot sleep in their marital bed as punishment. Sadly, I know it happens in many marriages. There are a few problems with this occurrence, and I want to take a quick post to point them out.
In marriage many arguments and hurt feelings are based on expectations. These expectations can come from a variety of sources and can present in a variety of forms. Expectations aren’t necessarily bad, but unspoken expectations are dangerous, particularly when you believe there is an agreement in place, or an understanding about expectations. One form of these is the so called covert contract. Continue reading
Today (August the 8th) is International Female Orgasm Day!
In case you haven’t heard of it, International Female Orgasm Day (or International Day of the Female Orgasm, depending on the translation) is a holiday started in Brazil to raise awareness of female sexuality. The intention is to take the day to learn more about the female orgasm. I’d love to take the day off and use it to research this topic (both by study and experimentation), but, for most of us (myself included), that isn’t an option.
I’m guessing that this is the most controversial survey we have done to date. What makes me say that? Well, first off, we had the lowest number of respondents in a long time. Secondly…people told us that it was. In fact, one of the comments we received in the survey was this:
My gut reaction to this is … really? Is such a discussion/survey helpful? I mean what is the benefit to the body of Christ in talking about this? Sure, as Christians we need to address the sex. But every single intimate descriptive lurid detail?? Are we just becoming online virtual Christian voyeurs? My guess is the only reason you see such “on the edge” topics like this is the porn men watch.
It’s a valid question, and I’m glad it was asked, and I’m glad I have the opportunity to answer it. Continue reading
I received an anonymous email last night:
How is it that my husband is the lower drive spouse and yet occasionally masturbates without me? He always regrets it and admits it to me afterwards, yet it still happens about once a month. We have sex less than once a week – maybe 3 times a month – and I almost always initiate, though he always enjoys it when we do have it. It hurts me because I would LOVE to have more sex, but he doesn’t want it, yet somehow he still feels the need to have sex by himself.