There is a common joke in married circles about “sleeping on the couch”. It typically refers to a husband being sent to go sleep on the couch, because he has done something to offend his wife and she has decided he cannot sleep in their marital bed as punishment. Sadly, I know it happens in many marriages. There are a few problems with this occurrence, and I want to take a quick post to point them out.
In marriage many arguments and hurt feelings are based on expectations. These expectations can come from a variety of sources and can present in a variety of forms. Expectations aren’t necessarily bad, but unspoken expectations are dangerous, particularly when you believe there is an agreement in place, or an understanding about expectations. One form of these is the so called covert contract. Continue reading
Today (August the 8th) is International Female Orgasm Day!
In case you haven’t heard of it, International Female Orgasm Day (or International Day of the Female Orgasm, depending on the translation) is a holiday started in Brazil to raise awareness of female sexuality. The intention is to take the day to learn more about the female orgasm. I’d love to take the day off and use it to research this topic (both by study and experimentation), but, for most of us (myself included), that isn’t an option.
I’m guessing that this is the most controversial survey we have done to date. What makes me say that? Well, first off, we had the lowest number of respondents in a long time. Secondly…people told us that it was. In fact, one of the comments we received in the survey was this:
My gut reaction to this is … really? Is such a discussion/survey helpful? I mean what is the benefit to the body of Christ in talking about this? Sure, as Christians we need to address the sex. But every single intimate descriptive lurid detail?? Are we just becoming online virtual Christian voyeurs? My guess is the only reason you see such “on the edge” topics like this is the porn men watch.
It’s a valid question, and I’m glad it was asked, and I’m glad I have the opportunity to answer it. Continue reading
I received an anonymous email last night:
How is it that my husband is the lower drive spouse and yet occasionally masturbates without me? He always regrets it and admits it to me afterwards, yet it still happens about once a month. We have sex less than once a week – maybe 3 times a month – and I almost always initiate, though he always enjoys it when we do have it. It hurts me because I would LOVE to have more sex, but he doesn’t want it, yet somehow he still feels the need to have sex by himself.
In our latest survey (on anal sex), I asked if there were any topics people would like to see a survey on. I got quite a few requests on the topic of female ejaculation (aka ‘squirting’). Seriously … like a half a dozen. And if a half a dozen people curious enough to ask, I’m willing to bet there are more. So, I devised a survey. I’ve tried to incorporate the lessons of the last surveys to the best of my ability, but please continue to give feedback wherever you think there can be improvement, and, as always, we value your data in helping us help couples around the world by fostering discussions about healthy sexuality within marriage.
So, without further ado, the survey is below. As usual, we’ll leave it up for about a week, then post the results and our analysis and comments. If you have having problems seeing the survey, you can fill it out here. Continue reading