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Sex Within Marriage

Hot and Monogamous, just as God intended

Birth Control Options for ChristiansWe’ve been talking about birth control for about the last month.  First we discussed non-procreative sex, then permanent birth control measures, and now we’re going to discuss birth control itself.  Birth control is a messy topic for Christians. We have to combine our beliefs on when life begins, the sovereignty of God in our lives, and considerations that our body is a temple of God, that we are stewards of it, and are responsible for anything we put in or on it. I’ve been asked to share my views on birth control and Christian marriage. I’m going to do by best to explain my reasoning and back up the things I say with scripture, but to be clear, these are my views. Each person should be convicted of their own beliefs and be able to reason them, and not to rely on someone else to do it for them. God will hold us all accountable. I believe He is forgiving of errors, but I’m not so sure He’s forgiving of third-partying your relationship with Him. So, study, read the scriptures, pray, and belief what you will, but don’t just go “Oh, I believe what this guy believes”, that won’t help you.  I’m going to be as reasoning and logical as I can during this, because that’s how I think about these things.  No doubt some will think it makes me cold and calculating.  I’m hoping my wife (in purple) can add some balance to the discussion.

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Permanent Birth Control Survey ResultsA few weeks ago, I wrote a post on non-procreational sex, and still plan to write one on birth control (I did, it’s here), but I had a reader asking about permanent birth control, so, I thought I’d tackle this first with a survey.  He (who shall remain nameless, because I didn’t ask if I could use his name) asked:

We have four kids ‎and decided that was enough.
What do you think of a vasectomy? What do other men say that had it done?
And so as to not alienate the women, I thought I’d ask about tubal ligations as well. Continue reading

Mutual Masturbation Survey ResultsA few weeks ago, we wrote about mutual masturbation and tacked on a survey at the end.  I had meant to write a more substantial post today on another topic, but to be honest, my brain is exhausted, and I just can’t wrap my head around something too deep today and do it justice, so I’m going to sort of phone it in and just present the results of the survey.  Maybe I’ll do another bonus post on a quick topic again later in the week to make up for it, no promises.  As is the custom, my wife’s comments will be in purple. Continue reading

Non-procreative sex OK for ChristiansI received this question on non-procreative sex through our “Have a Question?” page:

Hello, I’m so happy to have found your site but I am confused on a very fundamental level. I understand that for my partner and I to have non-procreational sex outside of marriage is a sin. My strict Catholic upbringing taught me that this remains a sin within marriage, and that sex should only be engaged in with the intention of procreation. Is this correct or have I been misinformed? Can married Christians enjoy non-procreational sex together? And if so, what about contraception? What is allowed and what is not? I hope you can help to explain this to me! I love my partner with all my heart and wish to marry her in the very near future, I’m just confused about this whole subject! Thank you very much for your guidance and God Bless.

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Valentines Disaster - How valentines day can harm your marriageI usually only post once a week, but this is a bonus post for those potentially walking into a Valentine’s Disaster, as I’m going to call it.  I know, I know, I’m a marriage blogger, and I’m supposed to be writing a post about what to do for valentine’s day, or how wonderful it is, or how to show your spouse you appreciate them on this special day.  But, in my opinion, this holiday is a disaster.  There is so much more harm being done by it than good, and I think it promotes a lot more negative feelings than positive ones.  Of course, this is part of a much larger discussion on expectations, but given the day, I thought I’d start here. Continue reading

Mutual Masturbation OK for Married Christians, Masturbating together, shared masturbationI’ve written about solo masturbation fairly extensively in previous posts, but I haven’t touched on the subject of shared, or mutual masturbation yet.  Two weeks ago, in my Going to Bed Naked Survey Results post, Chris Tian asked if I would write about this topic, because it’s been a point of contention between her and her husband.  So, in the hopes that it helps some couples, here are my thoughts on mutual masturbation within marriage.  As we’ve been doing, my wife’s comments will be in purple. Continue reading