My wife (her comments in purple) and I host a small group in our house, and we’re currently studying Intimacy Ignited with 4 other Christian couples. It’s been an interesting experience, talking so openly about sex in person with people who we know. In fact, we know some of these people very well and have for years, but we were still surprised by some of the discussions. One thing in particular: how stuck people are on their own mindset of what they want out of marriage, and that their spouse needs to change in order to suit their needs. In our group (which is not large enough to show a typical division of sex drives), the men all have higher sex drives and the women all have lower sex drives (both relative to their spouse). And what do you think comes out in the discussions?
A common question among Christians is “What is allowed in the bedroom?” or “Are there any activities we’re not allowed to do during sex?” This is a confusing topic, mostly, because we (the church) have made it confusing. I think the Bible is pretty clear on it if you read it as a whole and see God’s attitude towards marriage, and I’m going to attempt to show bits and pieces of what I mean. Unfortunately, I can’t do a full job of showing the entire picture, because that would be an entire book. But, we can take a quick jump through the Bible to see what it says.
Cassie Celestain over at TrueAgape.com contacted me just over a week ago to ask if I could review her booklet. As is my policy, I never turn down the opportunity to read a resource that might help marriages, and if I think it will help, I’ll write up a review and post it. So that’s just what I did. The full title of the booklet (as far as I can tell) is: Creating True Agape, 20 at home dates designed to cultivate communication, intimacy and growth. It is a short (78 page) booklet with 20 at home dates that you can do with nothing more than writing & coloring implements, scissors and tape (and perhaps a couple other minor household items). Continue reading
Last week we shared a bit about what the Bible says about who should lead. This week we’re going to share what our physiology says about who should lead, because sadly enough, a lot of Christians now deny that the Bible is inspired, or they believe it is outdated, so let’s look at something a bit more scientific.
We’re taught from a young age these days that you can do whatever you want, be whomever you want. Our society has done it’s best to tell us that we are all equal, that gender is a frame of mind and a choice, that our physiology has nothing to do with what role we are to play in life.
We hear stories of public washrooms becoming unisex and of transgendered people suing athletic competitions for daring to categorize athletes based on their chromosomes.
But science has been telling us a different story. That our genders are fundamentally different.
Who should lead in the household? This is a question that is being seriously debated these days, and Christians are all over the map on this one. Some believe husbands should be, some the wives. Some believe there should be no leader, some believe it doesn’t make a difference, and some believe they should lead together, which seems to mean no one is leading, or they’re fighting more than accomplishing anything.
So, what does the Bible say? After all, if we are Christians, and believe that God’s “word is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path” (Psalm 119:105), then that should be our first stop for such guidance.
A common argument low-drive spouses have against high-drive spouses “Why do we NEED to improve our sex life? Isn’t it good enough?” And that’s a difficult question to answer for most, because it’s not a simple yes or no. So, I thought I’d take a few (like a thousand or two) words and try to explain this built-in need for most high-drive spouses to continuously reach for a higher quality, and higher-frequency, sex life, because I think it’s a bigger topic than most give credit for. My wife’s comments will be in purple. Continue reading