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Sex Within Marriage

Hot and Monogamous, just as God intended

Im a father again This is just a quick post for those who have been anxiously anticipating the birth of our newest addition.  Well, he arrived this afternoon, weighing in at 9lbs, 15oz.  Birth was quick, if not painless.  Fingers and toes are all accounted for.  We didn’t get to have our home birth due to meconium in the amniotic fluid (don’t Google it if you don’t want to know), but everything went well.  Both he and Christina are in the hospital overnight for observation (she bled a bit more than they liked and his blood sugar is a bit lower than they like, but’s just a precaution), they’re quite happy and healthy.

So, to those who have been praying for us, thank you!

Oh, and yes, that’s his real picture.

Anonymous Question

Received another anonymous question through our Have A Question page.   This one will be short, because I’ve already addressed it in Should Christians read erotic literature, but, I think people might search for this question, so I’m willing to make a short new post for it.

Is it wrong to watch a movie like fifty shades of gray with your husband with the intentions of spicing up your sex life together? I have no intentions to see it with other women or to lust after Christian Gray, my husband is far better. But he and I have contemplated seeing it together, most likely DVD in our own home, to add another element of spice to our relationship.

This is an argument I saw come up a lot when I posted Should Christians read erotic literature?  What if you are both okay with it, and you are only doing it to “spice up” your relationship?  It’s the same argument I’ve heard from people in open marriages, and I wrote about that in Is it still adultery if my spouse if you have permission?  There is this idea that it’s okay if both spouses are okay with it, and if you are doing it to spice up your relationship.

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Should Christians Read Erotic Literature

Erotica is becoming mainstream.  50 Shades of Grey was a New York Times bestseller last year, and the movie is expecting to be one of the largest grossing movies to date.  Christianity has largely been silent on the issue.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, there are many blog posts, articles, even books disparaging this trend, and this trilogy in particular, but the individual Christian response has not been so united.  Quite the opposite in fact.  I hear more Christians promoting and giving support, for the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy in particular, than I do Christians who are dismayed or appalled at this trend.

We’ve known for quite some time that porn use is quite high in the Christian community.  Best estimates put it around 50% of men are struggling with porn use (including pastors).  With porn, there is at least the sense of shame and embarrassment about it (although it’s unfortunate that stops so many from seeking help), but with erotica…there’s no such stigma attached.  It’s as if, as a “lesser evil” to porn, it’s been accepted in Christian society, though I strongly suspect the temporary boost in sexual interest from their wives is biasing many men’s responses to this past time.

I’ve been asked, numerous times, what the should Christian response be.  What is the biblical advice on this?  Is this something Christians should be okay with, or something we should stand against?  And so, I shall attempt to give what I believe is a biblical response to the books, knowing that many of you will disagree.  But, at least we’ll be talking about it.

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9780802410887Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy and the Longings of a Woman’s Heart, by Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery is a book all about what drives the female mind with regards to sex.  It seems to be intended for a female audience, to help women understand for themselves why they have certain desires, why some things turn them on (even when they don’t want them to).  It’s also a response to the 50 Shades of Grey fad that’s sweeping our world.  One of the authors read through the 50 Shades series and the other not, but their thoughts come together in a since coherent book discussing the topic. Continue reading