Comments for Sex Within Marriage http://sexwithinmarriage.com Hot and Monogamous, just as God intended Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:50:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.1 Comment on What affect does premarital sex have on a marriage? by Marriage Ministry Matters – March 2015 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2015/03/what-affect-does-premarital-sex-have-on-a-marriage/#comment-479744 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:50:19 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=3073#comment-479744 […] The Sex Within Marriage survey asks primarily yes/no questions, with some open-ended questions where respondents can share a bit more if they like. Because yes/no questions are fairly quick to answer, Jay Dee can get away with asking a lot of questions. The questions ask about the kinds of premarital sexual activity as well as some general questions about contentment in the marriage. He uses the results to do some in-depth data analysis, which he shares here. […]

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Comment on Premarital sexual activities survey by Marriage Ministry Matters – March 2015 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2015/03/premarital-sexual-activities-survey/#comment-479732 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 14:35:18 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=2950#comment-479732 […] Forgiven Wife and Sex Within Marriage have both done recent surveys on premarital sex. While there is some overlap, they illustrate how […]

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Comment on Why Do Married Men Masturbate? by Jay Dee http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2012/10/why-do-married-men-masturbate/#comment-479617 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 17:02:51 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=444#comment-479617 The right to divorce, perhaps. But why not work through the problem instead? I’d much rather you see a pastor or a counselor than a lawyer.

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Comment on My Husband Admitted To Masturbating, How Do I Get Over The Hurt? by Jay Dee http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2012/10/my-husband-admitted-to-masturbating-how-do-i-get-over-the-hurt/#comment-479616 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 17:01:38 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=499#comment-479616 Probably because he knows it’s wrong…you’re saying it’s okay doesn’t mean it is.

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Comment on My Husband Admitted To Masturbating, How Do I Get Over The Hurt? by bjones07 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2012/10/my-husband-admitted-to-masturbating-how-do-i-get-over-the-hurt/#comment-479539 Mon, 30 Mar 2015 04:22:01 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=499#comment-479539 Honestly I’m the same way. I am very open about me using porn or me master baying in front of my husband. But my husband hides his masturbating as it is illegal. I encourage him to her if I’m not in the mood. So why does he feels the need to hide it from me?

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Comment on Do Men Want Their Women To Take The Lead More When It Comes To Sex? by Who Should Take the Lead in The Bedroom? | Love Hope Adventure http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2012/10/do-men-want-their-women-to-take-the-lead-more-when-it-comes-to-sex/#comment-479491 Sun, 29 Mar 2015 22:23:50 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=386#comment-479491 […] You can read what JD over at Sex Within Marriage has to say about his personal view of his wife initiating physical intimacy. […]

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Comment on Why Do Married Men Masturbate? by Anonymous http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2012/10/why-do-married-men-masturbate/#comment-479459 Sun, 29 Mar 2015 15:25:48 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=444#comment-479459 My husband has had this problem since I meet him. masturbating never getting enough sex. sometimes he would have sex 2 or 3 times a day with me. I had never known anything about sex before meeting him. so I didn’t know that this was a problem. but no after 38 years of marriage I’m tired of him betray me with porn and masturbation. when I quit having porn with him 10 years ago because I came to Christ and it felt dirty. that’s when he started masturbating more frequently. nothing is sacred in our home. he gets up in the middle of the night to masturbate. We no longer have cable. now he’s learned how to get on the internet and it’s disgusting what I found out. I feel as though he is having multiple affairs on me. That he justifies it because he isn’t literally with that woman just in his mind. but the Bible distinguise does that to last for another woman there’s a sin that is adultery. thank you for answering this question for me. do I have the right to divorce him over this porn problem. we have not had sexual relations in 6 months relations and 6 months. Thank you

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Comment on What do you do if you are asexual? by Ricky http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2015/03/what-do-you-do-if-you-are-asexual/#comment-479410 Sun, 29 Mar 2015 04:18:55 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=3106#comment-479410 I know it’s not the answer. Course when I was younger 16-17 I didn’t realize that once people get married peoples sex drives drastically change in some cases. I believe in the case of women losing their drive after married and having pre-marital sex, has something to do with feeling comfortable and safe and no longer a need to impress or “go get.” I’ve heard it from some of my guy friends and it’s really sad. Women stop oral sex a lot too. No idea why since people should want to have sex and not see it as a chore or obligation. I could see never wanting it like asexual people, but to be a very sexual active person and then suddenly stop after marriage is the definition of laziness and in my opinion not really giving a crap about the person they supposedly love’s needs. It’s kinda like weight gain. People when they aren’t married tend to feel a need to uphold an image and meet a certain standard. After it’s gone it all floats away. That’s all unacceptable to me. Not saying I’m not going to show love but before I got married I specifically clarified two things that were musts for me. I get certain times call for certain things but long term it would be a problem for sure. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with it and I don’t have to pressure my spouse to do these things she wants them for herself.

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Comment on What do you do if you are asexual? by JC http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2015/03/what-do-you-do-if-you-are-asexual/#comment-479372 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 20:06:21 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=3106#comment-479372 Thanks for your response!
About that shift you’re talking about, from an asexual spouse to a sexual one and what trouble this can cause- by all means, that’s a possibility for every sexual marriage as well. There are so many examples to find in the comments on this blog, people who struggle with the fact that after 10, 15 or 20 years or marriage, their spouse shows no interest in sex anymore or confesses to only have had sex in the past for the purpose to conceive. Well… I figure that would leave anyone with a huge thing to deal with, sexual or asexual. But that is what you get with marriage- you have to trust your spouse to be honest about his or her feelings concerning sex. And the reality in life seems to be that this can change, unfortunately.
Now, refering to the topic of children – I think there is a very common misconception about asexual relationships, meaning that without sex, there is no intimacy at all. As you said yourself, you wouldn’t necessarily want your kids to see you and your wife having sex. But it’s important for them to experience warmth, touch and affection, and what better way is there to just demonstrate it, as parents. I totally agree with you on this. Hugging, kissing, snuggling – all these things can be very much a part of an asexual relationship as well, depending on how the partners feel comfortable with it. And I’m sure that in real life, it is a natural process to find a balance with that, just as sexual couples do (like, what kind of affection are we ok to show in public for example). It sounds more technical than it is in reality, I would say.
Anyways, just a few more thoughts.
Thank you for your offer to answer more questions. I might take you up on this sometime.

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Comment on What do you do if you are asexual? by Jay Dee http://sexwithinmarriage.com/2015/03/what-do-you-do-if-you-are-asexual/#comment-479363 Sat, 28 Mar 2015 18:20:21 +0000 http://sexwithinmarriage.com/?p=3106#comment-479363 Having sex prior to marriage is no guarantee either. I’ve had dozens, perhaps hundreds, of spouses say they had a vibrant sex life prior to marriage, and then after the honeymoon (sometimes right after the ceremony), suddenly their spouse switched and became asexual, frigid, vanilla, or whatever. Every survey we run there are at least a few comments lamenting this fact.

Premarital sex is not the answer, and as our survey showed, it seems to do a lot more damage than people realize.

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