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Hot and Monogamous, just as God intended

Mission Statement

The goal at is to help Christian spouses in two ways: 1) to dispel the stigma often associated with talking about sex within the Christian context, and 2) to use that new freedom to discuss sex within marriage, facilitating positive change in their Christian marriage in order to further glorify God.

About The Writer

Let’s see, what does one need to know?

I’ve been married for 14 years.  We were both age 20 when we married.  We have 5 children, the eldest is 8 years old, and the rest are approximately 2 years apart.  My wife is a stay-at-home mother and home schools our children, and I’m self employed as a Christian Marriage Coach, and also as a software engineer.

I’ve been a Christian my entire life, but in the last 11 years or so I have really been pursuing God in my life.  I’m very active in my church, and I’ve even been known to preach sermons on occasion.

I have had a passion for learning my entire life with my two most intensive fields of study being sex and theology.  This blog was originally my attempt to draw both interests into a single point and have a space where I could write about them without reserve.  Along the way I found that I have a real passion to helping people, particularly in marriage and that the sphere of sexuality within marriage still needs a lot of help in the Christian community.

I have no formal education in theology, sexuality, counseling or ministry.  I am not a pastor, an elder, or even a deacon.  I have never been ordained in any position.  I’m just a guy with 13 years of marriage under his belt, who has been both in a sexless marriage and sex-every-night marriage, both with the same wife, and a passion for figuring out why things are the way they are.

I can be reached by email at


I also wanted you to know that God has used you and your wife in a HUGE way during this season of our journey. I am so grateful for you both…you have no idea!! :)



 Thank you. Somehow you’ve made this very scary topic seem less scary. … You really are helpful, and I just can’t thank you enough. I don’t even know you, but deep down, I just have an overwhelming sense of appreciation and gratitude.

-Miss Sunshine


My wife and I both read your blog on a regular basis and often discuss your posts together – it’s a real help to our marriage.



Thank you for a having a website that is real, but remains Christ honoring. Thank you for going out of your way to find information and get input for the benefit of others (especially so quickly!). … you went beyond just receiving information; you took it and analyzed it, and got real results. I know that the Lord is definitely working through your ministry, and I am so thankful! … when I saw the results of the survey and your blog, it was like I felt this victory…. You created a place where people can get answers about issues that are not easy to share with anyone. It’s extremely rare, and very special.  … Who would have known that one message to a random website on a night that my heart was so broken, would lead to an answer and a healed heart in only two days?!! That is the Lord! Well, keep doing what your doing Jay Dee. I know the Lord will bless you for it.



Thank you so much for your kind words and support! I started feeling better as soon as I started writing my thoughts, and feeling better yet reading your reply.



Thanks for continuing to tackle the more challenging/least discussed topics on sex. Our marriage has benefited from simply having a starting point for conversations, so thank you.



Your website has really ministered to my marriage.





8 Responses to About The Blog

  • RE: “You’re Turn”

    I love your blog, but want to share some fun grammar help.

    This isn’t spam, and not my site either. It’s just an easy and fun hit list.

    Thanks for all you do. Keep it up!

    • Thanks Rob,

      I can’t believe I did that on three posts in a row! I promise, I do know the proper usage. I have no idea what I was thinking. My wife said “That’s not like you!”, because usually I’m the stickler for grammar.

      Thanks for letting me know. Glad you like the blog.

    • I should point out, there are 49 posts where I got it right….just saying… no one mentions those…

  • Interesting statement you made about being a Christian all your life. I’m assuming you mean that you believed in Jesus at a young age.

    • I mean, I cannot remember a time in my life in which I did not believe in God and was trying to follow (however imperfectly) the teachings of the bible, with a mind for spending eternity with God.

  • Hi! I just found your website through Facebook. I’m so happy that I did. We have similar interests in promoting healthy sexuality in Christian marriages.

    Your website is so inspiring and full of great posts. Thanks for your commitment to healthy marriages!


    • Hi Jessica!

      That’s very cool, I’m aware of the field of sex therapy, but have never come in contact with a Christian sex therapist. Absolutely fantastic! I hope to see you around the blog-o-sphere.

      • Yes, unfortunately there are not many of us yet. But, every year more and more people are getting involved. These are exciting times for marriage and sexuality!

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