So, here I am, a Christian, launching a blog, about sex. What am I thinking?
I’ve been a Christian my entire life (meaning I grew up in a Christian family), and I have come to realize that the Christian culture is not only not doing a good job of teaching about sex, we are doing a horrible job at teaching about sex within marriage. We spend so much time telling people “No sex until your married” that we forget to tell them “after that, you’re good to go”. Often it’s taught “Sex is bad” and leave off the “unless your married, then it can be absolutely amazing”. We absolutely fail at teaching anything about sex within marriage.
Add to this all all the garbage we see on the TV, in movies, books, magazines, radio, podcasts, YouTube, etc., etc., etc….
I’ve spent the last few years studying marriage, Christian relationships and sex. I’ve read a lot of amazing books, I’ve found many great websites and some podcasts on sex within marriage from a Christian perspective. And lastly, I have some things I’ve learned on my own, within my marriage, that I’m more than willing to share.
My marriage is solid, but it wasn’t always that way. When we got married, we were left on our own when it comes to sex. We had no sex talks, beyond the clinical classroom education. We had little relationship advice given, and what was given was often bad. We had no idea some of the baggage we were bringing just growing up as normal people living in a fallen world. This upbringing caused a rift in our marriage for the first 8 years. Our emotional intimacy and spiritual intimacy suffered because our physical intimacy was near nonexistent, and visa-versa. I think we had sex less than 12 times a year for our first 8 years, unless we were trying to conceive. During one pregnancy, we went 9 months without any sexual contact at all. The sad thing was: we thought this was normal. Between media and the lack of communication surrounding sex in our Christian upbringing, we assumed everyone else had the same issues.
Because sex within marriage doesn’t exist in a bubble, we’ll be exploring physical intimacy, emotional intimacy and spiritual intimacy, and how these all affect your relationship as a whole as they are all linked together.
What would you like to see written about the topic of sexuality within marriage? I know you’re probably reading this post years after it was written, but I’m still interested. Too embarrassed to ask? Use our anonymous Have A Question page.